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Selasa, Juni 23, 2009

Johannes Daniel Pietersz

Name : Johannes Daniel Pietersz Nick : Dani/Anel Born : Jakarta, 28 Aug 1982 RIP : Jakarta, 31 May 2009 "Last thing that would never come out of the back of my head was, lots of pictures taken by my mind and eyes, picked right out from our real life" "Many times on these days I feel like that my heart was pulled out of its place, broken into pieces, and it's hurt so much and time isn't getting it healed" "All I can remember was, I never thought that I would take for granted every moment that I had with him, If I'd known that we only have 26years of time instead of a very very long long time so we get old and bored to each other, have grandkids and lived by each other's next door" "One of things that hit me like I'm hit by a truck was, I feel like life owes him one big happiness in life, that nobody has the right to be treated the way life treated him" "Other thing that also hit me very hard was, I feel like maybe I should be able to make a difference, to make him more happy, to be able spend more and more time with him, so he felt to have a big sister that always has the time around her" "One of things that haunt me almost every night after 31/05/09 was, him and me comes from one blood, which makes me thought that when he goes, he took some part of me died and buried, too" "Other things that haunt me about every second that ticked now was, this has changed me the way I would never imagined and now I could only imagine how to deal with it" "It changed the way I lived my life, either changed, too, the way I see life" "Surely changed the things that circled around me, so I would never think life was an easy choice"

Grievous

23/06/09 what would you do if your younger brother passed away, and less then a month your husband already angry to find you're still sad and crying it at night? would the fact that he seems don't understand who you are, and that would makes you think that for the past5 years you're sleeping with totally stranger, will particularly makes no difference if you're sleeping with a stranger at all? how could he thinks I could bear to grieve only on 31/05/09, thus I have 26 years memmories-length to remember? how much time do I have to sit and cry, no matter what day is it or what time is it? a true best friend would give as long as it would be needed to heal. a true soul-mate would give a lifetime trying to understand how the lost had caused so much pain to someone's heart and soul but yet...it may only as simple as the needs to be understood, the right sense of compromising that has come between the lines, and crossed it. it's a matter of love for two different people with different kind of types. to be honest with him so he really gets the points how this stage has brought to me to a looks-like-never-ending flagrant devastating emotions.